Welcome to cabinet review. Today we will be reviewing the members of the new cabinet that was announced last week and sworn in officially yesterday. These are based on my own perceptions and judgments, that as per usual, have no real evidence or backing behind them.

Jacinda Ardern

While Ardern is good as a Prime Minister, I am saddened at the lost of the Arts, Culture and Heritage portfolio where she has been relegated to an associated minister. What happened? Was Ardern not performing up to the standard that is expected of a cabinet minister in that portfolio? 6/10.

Grant Robertson

Robertson gets promoted to the role of deputy prime minister and only gains two extra portfolios: infrastructure and racing, areas where he was basically the minister anyway. 7/10 for being average.

Kelvin Davis

Kelvin comes in number three, getting tourism dropped (which makes sense, he’s not done anything), and gaining Children and retaining corrections. Davis is clearly very dedicated to Maori issues and this is a continuation of that, especially in areas like our prison systems and for our vulnerable children. 9/10 for being so kind to the kids.

Megan Woods

Who is Megan Woods? Why is she here? What purpose does she serve? Woods hasn’t gotten in trouble – the only problem is with portfolios like energy and research, there’s not much scandal going on. As a Minister of Housing, I give Woods about a 2/10 because let’s face it, the housing crisis still exists and while maybe some state houses will be built, I’m still staring down the barrel of a $500,000 mortgage for a one-bedroom house. Solve that, Megan. 6/10 for doing nothing.

Chris Hipkins

Hipkins has actually made some changes in the education sector surprisingly enough, in the areas of NCEA and the merging of the polytechnics, which will still remain to be seen whether they turn out well or not. Otherwise, he retains his portfolios and COVID-19 responsibilities. 8/10 for attempting something.

Carmel Sepuloni

Gains some portfolios, including the Prime Minister’s art, culture and heritage one. Remains the Minister for Social Development and Employment; some work done in this area, but not to much. 7/10.

Andrew Little

Given the heath portfolio, but doesn’t look all that happy about it. I’m sure it will be fine though, but this rating is low because it makes Little look sad. 7/10 for getting the health portfolio.

David Parker

David Parker is everywhere. His face haunts my dreams and his TPP negotiations fill my nightmares. Funnily enough, he’s picked up Revenues and Oceans and Fisheries, so I’m still not sure what the exact purpose of Parker is. 6/10 for not being recognizable.

Nanaia Mahuta

The new foreign affairs minister is a bold choice, though I have no idea who else to pick. I guess Mahuta is good enough? Her other portfolios were once again, rather minor and she doesn’t seem to have a very large workload again this term. 8/10 for having a real portfolio for once.

Poto Williams

Poto Williams seems nice enough, but I don’t know enough about her to make this judgment really. 7/10 for being average.

Damien O’Connor & Stuart Nash

These people are together because they’re just randoms that are all over the rural areas. Who really cares about forestry, why do we even have a minister for it? What the heck is biosecurity and rural communities? Why do we need ministers for these things? 5/10 for having stupid portfolios.

Kris Faafoi.

Everyone seems to like Faafoi, and I guess I can see why. He seems like a good pick for Minister of Justice as well. Not so sure about the other two portfolios that seem relatively minor, but a good, competent choice. 9/10.

Peeni Henare.

He apparently wanted to be the Minister of Defence, even after publicly going on the record concerning the health portfolio. 4/10 for losing out to Andrew Little, who doesn’t seem to want health too much anyway.

Willie Jackson.

The man who rises from the dead to secure portfolios from nowhere. 7/10 for making it into cabinet after a small stint outside.

Jan Tinetti.

Tinetti seems like a nice person; not exactly a politician per say but is clearly a respected figure within the education system and liked very much by her colleagues. She picks up some small, but what I think is relatively suited portfolios. 8/10.

Michael Wood

Seems like a good guy who hopefully will be able to do something about the transport portfolio so I don’t have to spend the rest of my life in traffic. 8/10 for maybe looking like he’ll build some light rail.

Kiri Allan.

Allan was my pick for the rising star of the Labour Party and continues to be so. She’s got everything right: relatable background where she dropped out of school, qualifications in law and business, young, Maori and of course as Jacinda says, “full of energy.” Just watch her maiden speech if you want to understand why. Her portfolios are a bit lacklustre, but clearly she told Jacinda she was interested in the environment. I don’t necessarily think these are the best fit though. 8/10 for being the next (competent) leader of the Labour party.

David Clark.

Why is David Clark here? How did he climb back from the dead? 4/10 for Jacinda who is clearly lacking so much in talent she has to bring this person back, but 9/10 for David Clark who gets to break Level 4 rules while being the Minister of Health and still get portfolios afterwards – even better, portfolios in finance areas as he has always wanted.

Ayesha Verrall

I still don’t understand the purpose of bringing Verrall to cabinet, even though we’re in the middle of the pandemic. Cabinet has access to top level experts – having one around the cabinet table will probably not contribute that much. She also gets some boring portfolios like food safety and seniors. 5/10 for not having a real reason for being in cabinet.

You might recall about a month ago when James Shaw proudly announced the government had agreed to pour funding into the private Green School.

You might also remember the uproar it caused. Teachers all over the country asking, “why is a private school getting hundreds of million dollars in funding when our own state schools are suffering?”

And it’s a great question to ask. The answer though, seemed to be ignored by most major media outlets, who either agreed that it was a bad decision or wanted to destroy James Shaw and his Green party for doing so.

The problem has nothing to do with James Shaw or the Green party or the government. The problem was with the actual policy itself a question that successive governments need to consider:

Why is our government investing in private businesses?

Private businesses gain all of the economic profit. It will be a small group of individuals who benefit, such as in the case of the Green school where it is whoever the owners are that will truly gain from this deal. The government doesn’t own half of the green school now, do they, or any private business they invest in?

What our government needs to do is stop building things for the sake of ‘creating jobs’ or ‘economic growth’ and instead think about what it can do to build its own assets and generate greater social benefits overall.

The way business works is they thrive or die because of consumer choice. The way the government works is to improve the well being of every person in this country, regardless of whether they have a job or not.

The government’s shovel ready projects should have been cycling ways, walking paths, new rail lines, investing in our own state schools, building new community centers and so on. In some circumstances where the government owns the business even if it is privately run, such as Air New Zealand, it may be appropriate to invest in that. It should never be appropriate for the government to pay the costs of a private business ever.

The multiplier effect shows that any cash injection into the economy will have an effect. The government needs to ensure that it will create flow-on effects for the whole of society, beyond simply having a job. It needs to ensure that we have a carbon-zero future ahead of us and an equal society with equal opportunity.

The government has mislead with its priorities. It is an opportunity for investing in some of the big challenges of the 21st century, and instead of looking to private business, they should take responsibility. It is hard for us to imagine a government that complains there just isn’t enough money and then spends $3 billion a year on a regional development fund is in genuine need.

The Green School decision isn’t a problem – it’s a symptom of a problem. No one questioned it apart from one official who did note it would be inappropriate for the government to fund a private school, but even that doesn’t address the fact that governments should not invest in private business they don’t own – they should be investing in their own universities, schools, parks and infrastructure. We could then get on with making the changes necessary to tackle poverty, climate change and make a difference for the next generation.

Aside from the pretentious title, this blog post does serve to breathe new life into this dying website. While my blog was on the verge of death, I have attempted to resurrect it for the following reason:

The domain name is just too good.

For a blog, this is the best possible domain name I could have wished for. Best of all, I haven’t paid a cent for it because I am in fact, poor. The discussion topic alas, is not about the meta of this blog and its existent or lack thereof. In fact, what we are here to discuss is the latest government in everyone’s favourite country New Zealand.

In a dramatic turn of events, the current Labour government, buoyed by what was largely seen as a strong and competent strategy for dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic and a opposition that flailed and flumbered its way to election day, swept to the greatest victory seen in MMP history.

It may be hard to see what is so historic about the win. Back in the pre-MMP era where we only had to parties, a single majority party government was the norm. Yet, MMP with its support of minor parties meant that to gain a single majority, one party had to command the votes of nearly half the population. And that is in the face of not one other opponent, but multiple.

Somehow, Labour managed to do it, winning 49.0% of the vote on election night, surpassing the prior National victory and giving them not just a majority, but a solid majority of 64 seats. There is no doubt that Labour will form the next government regardless of what happens. But just thinking about it, doesn’t it make you understand the historic nature of such a victory? There are so many other parties: National, ACT, Greens, NZ First and all the conspiracy parties, yet 1 in 2 voters chose to tick the Labour box.

Perhaps it was the rally around the flag effect that resulted in such a victory, or maybe it was the National party tearing itself apart with scandal after scandal when New Zealand has proved that they think the words “strong and stable government” actually mean something. (I personally want a weak and wobbly government). Whatever the reasons are a discussion for another post, but here let’s focus on the makeup of the next government.

Labour has entered into some discussion with the Greens about a potential role in the next administration. What role they should play and what they will is, at this point, unknown. Some believe the Greens will help hold Labour to account on progressive issues of housing, health and the environment, while others believe the Greens to be literally the worst thing in the world.

The Greens have about two choices: 1) in some capacity, be in the government or 2) stand in opposition.

I personally think the Greens will have a much better chance of achieving their goals if they are standing in the opposition rather than in government. First of all, the Greens have no leverage over the Labour party. They are not needed to command the confidence of the House of Representatives and they are certainly not needed to fill the cabinet positions.

Second, Labour are hardly going to appease the Greens on issues of a minimum guaranteed income of $325 a week or a wealth tax for those with assets totalling more than $1 million. Within government, the Greens will have no choice but to roll over and do whatever Labour tells them. On the opposition benches however, they are free to scream, yell and roll around to every single media outlet in the country telling them why the Labour party are so trash. That indeed is more likely to be effective.

However, if Labour does offer the Greens a role, I would expect that they would take it up. The illusion of being able to do work is in some ways more comforting than having to fight tooth and nail for every single thing that you want, even if it could be more effective.

In conclusion the best course of action for this country is a Labour majority government, where the Greens are somewhere wailing with National and ACT on the other side. It is a shame that nothing will be passed without Labour’s support unlike the last government where we saw the Greens and National work together to pass certain members bill, but it is what it is. There are of course, many other questions to answer as we see out the next political term, but those are all topics for another blog post. (Hopefully tomorrow, or at least more frequently than none at all.)

An explanation of why I would start a blog like this.

Most blogs have a purpose: and my one totally does as well. Of course, it’s purpose is a bit different from your average blog. Unlike other people with their complete useless explanations and morally righteous opinions about how they are trying to ‘inform the public’ or ‘help them’, this blog has been made for a singular reason that has no ulterior motive and which I certainly don’t think is in anyway attempting to appeal as moral and right. So, what is my reason, you ask?

I’m bored.

Instead of giving you facts and critically analysing them, I’ll be using this corner of the internet to stave off the eternal boredom that threatens all of humanity and which results in me having absolutely nothing to do.

Topics of discussion will mostly be whatever political topic I find most fascinating at that particular point and I cannot guarantee that there will be daily blog posts. Mostly because I don’t know how bored I will be on a particular day. It is likely that this will vary and change from time to time and I have absolutely no way of knowing what the future is because unfortunately I don’t possess psychic abilities (not that I actually believe in psychics), so I can’t enlighten you in advance either.

So have fun, enjoy my corner of internet and make sure that you don’t die of boredom either.