Welcome to cabinet review. Today we will be reviewing the members of the new cabinet that was announced last week and sworn in officially yesterday. These are based on my own perceptions and judgments, that as per usual, have no real evidence or backing behind them.
Jacinda Ardern
While Ardern is good as a Prime Minister, I am saddened at the lost of the Arts, Culture and Heritage portfolio where she has been relegated to an associated minister. What happened? Was Ardern not performing up to the standard that is expected of a cabinet minister in that portfolio? 6/10.
Grant Robertson
Robertson gets promoted to the role of deputy prime minister and only gains two extra portfolios: infrastructure and racing, areas where he was basically the minister anyway. 7/10 for being average.
Kelvin Davis
Kelvin comes in number three, getting tourism dropped (which makes sense, he’s not done anything), and gaining Children and retaining corrections. Davis is clearly very dedicated to Maori issues and this is a continuation of that, especially in areas like our prison systems and for our vulnerable children. 9/10 for being so kind to the kids.
Megan Woods
Who is Megan Woods? Why is she here? What purpose does she serve? Woods hasn’t gotten in trouble – the only problem is with portfolios like energy and research, there’s not much scandal going on. As a Minister of Housing, I give Woods about a 2/10 because let’s face it, the housing crisis still exists and while maybe some state houses will be built, I’m still staring down the barrel of a $500,000 mortgage for a one-bedroom house. Solve that, Megan. 6/10 for doing nothing.
Chris Hipkins
Hipkins has actually made some changes in the education sector surprisingly enough, in the areas of NCEA and the merging of the polytechnics, which will still remain to be seen whether they turn out well or not. Otherwise, he retains his portfolios and COVID-19 responsibilities. 8/10 for attempting something.
Carmel Sepuloni
Gains some portfolios, including the Prime Minister’s art, culture and heritage one. Remains the Minister for Social Development and Employment; some work done in this area, but not to much. 7/10.
Andrew Little
Given the heath portfolio, but doesn’t look all that happy about it. I’m sure it will be fine though, but this rating is low because it makes Little look sad. 7/10 for getting the health portfolio.
David Parker
David Parker is everywhere. His face haunts my dreams and his TPP negotiations fill my nightmares. Funnily enough, he’s picked up Revenues and Oceans and Fisheries, so I’m still not sure what the exact purpose of Parker is. 6/10 for not being recognizable.
Nanaia Mahuta
The new foreign affairs minister is a bold choice, though I have no idea who else to pick. I guess Mahuta is good enough? Her other portfolios were once again, rather minor and she doesn’t seem to have a very large workload again this term. 8/10 for having a real portfolio for once.
Poto Williams
Poto Williams seems nice enough, but I don’t know enough about her to make this judgment really. 7/10 for being average.
Damien O’Connor & Stuart Nash
These people are together because they’re just randoms that are all over the rural areas. Who really cares about forestry, why do we even have a minister for it? What the heck is biosecurity and rural communities? Why do we need ministers for these things? 5/10 for having stupid portfolios.
Kris Faafoi.
Everyone seems to like Faafoi, and I guess I can see why. He seems like a good pick for Minister of Justice as well. Not so sure about the other two portfolios that seem relatively minor, but a good, competent choice. 9/10.
Peeni Henare.
He apparently wanted to be the Minister of Defence, even after publicly going on the record concerning the health portfolio. 4/10 for losing out to Andrew Little, who doesn’t seem to want health too much anyway.
Willie Jackson.
The man who rises from the dead to secure portfolios from nowhere. 7/10 for making it into cabinet after a small stint outside.
Jan Tinetti.
Tinetti seems like a nice person; not exactly a politician per say but is clearly a respected figure within the education system and liked very much by her colleagues. She picks up some small, but what I think is relatively suited portfolios. 8/10.
Michael Wood
Seems like a good guy who hopefully will be able to do something about the transport portfolio so I don’t have to spend the rest of my life in traffic. 8/10 for maybe looking like he’ll build some light rail.
Kiri Allan.
Allan was my pick for the rising star of the Labour Party and continues to be so. She’s got everything right: relatable background where she dropped out of school, qualifications in law and business, young, Maori and of course as Jacinda says, “full of energy.” Just watch her maiden speech if you want to understand why. Her portfolios are a bit lacklustre, but clearly she told Jacinda she was interested in the environment. I don’t necessarily think these are the best fit though. 8/10 for being the next (competent) leader of the Labour party.
David Clark.
Why is David Clark here? How did he climb back from the dead? 4/10 for Jacinda who is clearly lacking so much in talent she has to bring this person back, but 9/10 for David Clark who gets to break Level 4 rules while being the Minister of Health and still get portfolios afterwards – even better, portfolios in finance areas as he has always wanted.
Ayesha Verrall
I still don’t understand the purpose of bringing Verrall to cabinet, even though we’re in the middle of the pandemic. Cabinet has access to top level experts – having one around the cabinet table will probably not contribute that much. She also gets some boring portfolios like food safety and seniors. 5/10 for not having a real reason for being in cabinet.
Fred's Corner 